Humans are mental and emotional beings; hence, the wisest and best-behaved ones tend to find the best balance between their emotions and rational thinking. On the other hand, an emotionally immature person might be one who is more given to his emotions and, as a result, ends up regretting most of what he says or does. He could also lack character, in the sense that, his actions are not guarded by any set principles, thereby behaving erratically.
The more emotionally immature you are the less happy you will be. This is so because an emotionally mature person, being one who is more rational and driven by set values, is less likely to act in the spur of the moment or do something just because it is trending but be not truly satisfied deep down.
On the other hand, the emotionally immature person is always questioning himself, regretting his actions, and is generally at war with his conscience.
Having established the link between emotional immaturity and overall happiness, I would like to share 10 COMMON SIGNS OF EMOTIONAL IMMATURITY.
1. You are threatened or saddened by others’ success
This is one of the saddest symptoms of being emotionally immature: to feel that the progress of others reduces your own worth.
It is inevitable and understandable that unpleasant events in our own lives will sadden us occasionally, but to add positive events in other people’s lives to that is a very miserable way to exist.
Good things will happen to those around us everyday just as they happen to us from time to time. An emotionally secure person accepts this fact and has no cause to feel inferior or envious. He has conviction in his thoughts and actions and is always encouraged that his own success is just around the corner.
2. You cannot but seek the validation of others
Having a mind of your own is a sign of emotional maturity. An emotionally mature person already has laid down principles and values that guide his actions, choices, or decisions.
Unlike an emotionally immature person, he doesn’t seek popular acceptance to feel comfortable about his life choices, he is guided by the strength of his convictions.
Not feeling happy until people accept you or approve of your choices is a sign of emotional immaturity.
3. You lie to impress
There is no clearer sign of a low self-esteem than seeking to impress people by going as far (as low) as lying.
Anyone who has matured emotionally would have come to the realization that he doesn’t have to be perfect to be respected. He also knows that if he feels the need to lie once to make someone accept him, he will have to lie again and again.
Lying doesn’t make you feel better about yourself; like other vices or shameful habits, it only kills your esteem more.
4. You feel the need to show-off or always be seen and heard on social-media.
When an emotionally immature person sees people ‘slaying’ on social-media, his overwhelming emotion is that he is being ‘out-slayed’ and has to ‘do his own’.
This need to do-his-own is what leads to irrational and often childish actions on social-media.
Ironically, in a more lucid moment, they may review their actions and feel ashamed – that semi-naked party pic that should not have been in public, the over-the-top reaction and resultant profanities after a slight provocation – and that leads to further loss of self-esteem.
5. You need to denigrate others to feel better about yourself.
When you see someone who always denigrates, antagonizes, or rubbishes the achievements of others, you know such a person is emotionally immature.
Mature minds always base their self-esteem on awareness and appreciation of their own qualities and uniqueness. They will not allow anyone to make them feel inferior and they wont deliberately do it to others as well.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
6. Your self-esteem depends on material acquisitions.
It’s a sign of emotional immaturity if you are not happy or confident until you own everything that is trending.
Many people, especially youngsters, feel inferior to their peers because they are not able to afford the latest I-phone. Sadly, this inferiority mindset eventually leads them to do unscrupulous things, that they wont normally do, for money.
By contrast, a mature mind understands that every trending item eventually becomes obsolete with passage of time, hence, he will never be obsessed with keeping up with trends or material acquisition.
7. Admitting your faults and apologizing is difficult.
Admitting one’s fault and apologizing is a sign that one can be trusted in future (to behave better). It’s saying: “my behavior wasn’t good but it’s out of character and I cherish our relationship enough to apologize.”
On the other hand, making a mistake or misbehaving and yet refusing to admit your wrong never mind apologize doesn’t make you look better, it actually makes others conclude you are not conscientious and lack morals – and that’s exactly the way of an immature mind,
8. You take your frustrations out on others.
Do you have that friend or colleague who snaps at you for no reason, or have you been in a relationship with someone who when they are in a bad mood, they treat you shabbily?
When someone behaves this way, it’s a sign that they are emotionally immature. It’s just plain wrong, unfair, and counter-productive to make someone bear the brunt of the offense another person has caused you – there is no faster way to lose good mature relationships.
9. You don’t handle situations with equanimity.
The quality of handling situations with equanimity is one possessed only by mature minds. It is the ability to not overreact to any situation, positive or negative – staying calm, composed, and controlled no matter what.
An immature mind becomes flippant, ostentatious, or takes things for granted when things are going fine.
In the same vein, he becomes so despondent, despairing, or out-of-control when disappointed or stressed.
10. You are impressionable and are quick to form opinions about others.
Fickleness is a characteristic of an immature mind – it takes very little to impress or displease them. As a result, they are not very stable in their perception and treatment of others. This also makes it very difficult for them to sustain relationships.
Where as, a mature mind understands that people pretend and very often give a good first impression, so they take their time to form impressions of others. Similarly, they don’t expect anyone to be infallible, so they give people people a long rope and the benefit of the doubt when they falter or when they are accused.
SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS…
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who you felt was always acting emotionally immature? What traits were they showing, and how did you handle them?
Which ones have you outgrown yourself?