Happiness is not an event, material possession or destination. It is a habit – we have to cultivate happiness.
– If happiness were an event, people who are depressed would easily overcome it because while they are suffering depression, good things happen to them occasionally.
– If happiness were riches, wealthy people, famous actors and sportsmen would never be suicidal.
– On the other hand, there are lots of people with myriad problems – lack of money included – who still have a taste for life even if they desire to be happier.
All these show that happiness is more a state of mind. It is about mental strength, about mind conditioning – It is from within.
|Happiness is a culture
How then do we cultivate this culture of happiness?
1. The natural instinct of happy people is to count their blessings. Being happy for who they are (talents, family, health, reputation) always overwhelms the emotional deficits that unmet desires or unfortunate occurrences might bring.
2. They understand that relationships are about quality not quantity. So they are quick to let go of malcontents even if it means being bored.
“True happiness consists not in the multitude of friends, but in the worth and choice.” – Ben Jonson
3. They share their most difficult problems – If we have a lingering issue that appears too big for our minds to bear alone, then we should share them with someone. When our minds are overwhelmed, depression or mental illnesses take root.
4. They don’t obsess – Happy people understand that desire is good but obsession is unhealthy. If we obsess about a goal or thing, and we don’t achieve them, we are blind to or undervalue every other thing that counts – even better alternatives.
5. They don’t depend solely on material things for happiness.
6. They have mental strength and they persevere – They don’t expect life to always be easy, hence they are always mentally prepared to handle and pull though difficult situations without feeling sorry for themselves.
7. They handle all situations with equanimity – They don’t get carried away or become ostentatious when things are rosy. At the same time they don’t despair when things are not so rosy. They understand the temporal nature of most situations in life.
8. They invest in the happiness of others because they understand that love makes the world go round.
9. Happy people are venturesome. A venturesome person is always full of hope and looks forward to each day with excitement.
“A venturesome soul is full of hope and looks forward to each new day with lots of excitement.”
10. They surround themselves with positive people.
11. They identify the things that can easily boost their happiness and do them. Some listen to music, while others immediately appreciate life again when they are in the midst of children.
12. They are not prisoners of the trendy or fashionable – they derive fun and happiness doing what pleases or suits them.
14. They know how to put situations into perspective, till the the bad looks better or manageable.
15. They are not boastful. So they don’t suffer under the burden of expectations.
16.They harness the power of reflection to clear their minds on any lingering issue till they feel peace, They then find the courage to follow through with actions. For example, apologize if need be.