Bitter experiences – such as disappointments, physical and emotional abuse, broken hearts or being defrauded – in our lives might lead us to trust people less. It might necessitate that we become less emotional and more rational.
However, it is important to not distrust or become suspicious of everyone afterwards. All human beings are not the same. If we consider ourselves – the victims of someone’s abuse or cheating – to be good, then it means that there are other good people out there. We may be cautious, but we can’t afford to become paranoid or cynical.
I have had many sad experiences in my life too, but I realise that I cannot afford to become negative about people – in general – and every situation. I simply remind myself of the many good people who have helped me and stayed true. I remind myself that I have relied on people’s assistance along the way to get to where I am, and that I will still need people to make further progress.
Paranoia is a very dangerous thing. It is very prejudicial to our Emotional-wellness and Sound Judgement. Everything, everyone and every situation is the same – “they are all bad”… and in that realm it is impossible to progress.
I have come across many people lately, particularly women, who are so scared of emotional engagement or investment of any sort. In fact, to many young people, the idea of celibacy is not so strange anymore.
As a result, I have tried to differentiate between ‘Caution’ and ‘Paranoia’, as well as list and explain a few ways that Paranoia might be affecting us negatively.
Enjoy… (and please share your thoughts and feedback too)
The biggest problem with Paranoia is that it reduces our capacity to self-introspect and then make necessary behavioural improvements. We blame everyone else for our misfortunes and never realise that we probably made the wrong choices or were too desperate in our show of desire in the first place.
Caution is advised but paranoia is very prejudicial to progress. In that realm people mistake would-be helpers for enemies and opportunities as threats.
Paranoia might also make us mistake opportunists and would-be abusers for helpers, comforters or ‘lovers’. It is a disease that clutters the mind and makes it use its head when it should use the heart, and vice-versa.
Paranoia is when you are convinced that love is not for you because of your past love experiences.
Paranoia is when you find it hard to trust anybody no matter how decent they have been – Caution is to slowly trust people as you get to know them.
Paranoia is to hate people before hand because you are convinced everyone is against you .
Paranoia is to never be able to share your pains or burdens with anyone because you think they will only make your situation worse or discuss you with the whole world.
Paranoia is to refuse favors from anyone because you think they are only trying to make you indebted forever.
Paranoia is to feel as if everyone laughing around you is talking about you, or that every DP or FB update is about you – that kills your confidence and freedom of expression.
Paranoia is to not venture because you think everyone is out to ensure you don’t succeed and are waiting to laugh at your failure.
Paranoia is to never enter into any form of partnership with people even if you need it for a business or career breakthrough.
Paranoia leads to isolation and eventually depression.
Paranoia is to be too negative to attract good people, the people you will end up with are those with ulterior motives – devil who will come in sheep clothing, overlook your hostilities till you let down your guard, become vulnerable; and then they strike.
Seyi Ogunsola (Mr Imbuya)
What are your thoughts or ways of dealing with disappointments or breach of trust, please share with us in the ‘comments’. Thank you
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